The day I found out my oldest son was battling cancer, it was like my world has ended.I was speechless and couldn't believe it.I felt to my knees and just start talking to God.We had been through so much like the struggle,my middle son trying to kill himself,my baby boy was trying to be in the games then this.Yes my heart was about to break and I was Lord I just can't handle this.So many peoples in the family was talking negative. I had to remove myself from them and focus more on God.When I would talk to my son at times I really didn't know what to say.It was hurting me bad inside and I couldn't tell him.My grandfather on my father's side died from cancer.I had lose a lot of peoples to cancer.I didn't want to lose my son.At times I felt like he didn't love me because he wouldn't tell me anything and I was hurting so bad inside.I would get alone and just cry myself to sleep and I didn't eat anything for about three days.My world was falling a part he was about 3 1/2 hrs away from me and I couldn't get to him.At times I felt like he didn't want me around and I was hurting even more.I went through so much with my children and I gave up so much to raise them. But when I start realizing I couldn't save him and stayed more on my knees.I let go and gave it all to God.At times we were bumping heads about this cancer and I didn't want to upset him so I back off and trust God.I prayed,cried,read my Bible,stayed focus and start praising God even more.I knew what he told me and I knew everything was going to be alright because of what God showed me.When he call I just would listen more and not say anything.I let him know I love Him.Like I said before I remove all the negative peoples out my life.So many peoples was telling me he wasn't going to make it and I would say God got it.I knew my son was hurting at times but he still remain strong.I knew how I raised my five children,four boys and one girl.No matter what you go through to keep fighting and don't give up.Trust God and everything will be alright.While I was dealing with this deep inside nobody ask me how I felt.I am the mother who care for her children and nobody took the time to see how I really was dealing with this deep pain inside.At work I had support and One day I just broke down crying and they start praying with me as well as being their.It was so hard to deal with.When I was out and about I would have a smile on my face but deep down inside I was really hurting.My best friend Angel was their the hold times encouraging me and helping out with other things as my son needed.It was very hard to deal with but joy comes in the morning.One day he call and said mom,guess what I don't have cancer any more.I was screaming telling God thank you with tears of joy in my eyes.God has answer my prayers my baby is cancer free.That was a change for me but I realized God don't make no mistakes and he want put too much on you that you can't handle.You have to keep the faith of a mustard see and hold on because joy comes in the morning.God is real and always on time.At times I felt like my son didn't love me but when we talk everything felt in place.All I ever wanted for my children was love,no matter how hard life comes at you to never give up and always trust God.God is amazing because my son never gave up he kept fighting and God gets the praise and glory.I am free and happy with everything God is doing in my children's life.God is amazing and always on time.
Melissa L. Bryant
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